


Indulge

by Chromophilic_Daydream



Category: Persona 5
Genre: 6 years post canon, Alcohol, Angst, I'm very predictable, M/M, Semi Public Sex, Sexual Content, The twist isn't a twist, halloween fic, unhealthy coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 01:36:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21312025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chromophilic_Daydream/pseuds/Chromophilic_Daydream
Summary: When Ren loses a bet to Ann, he has to wear one of her old Halloween costumes and goes to a club with her. There, he indulges in a game of make-believe with a man who looks far too familiar in the strobing lights of the club CHERRY SHAKE.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Amamiya Ren (Persona Series)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 154





	Indulge

**Author's Note:**

> I guess it's better a little late than never at all. I wrote this Halloween fic last year for Halloween and chickened out on posting it. But, whatever, here it is!!!
> 
> [Reiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selvanic) for betaing for me and reading this nonsense.
> 
> Art from Clover of Ren getting dressed can be found [HERE](https://twitter.com/WastedOnMojitos/status/1191435708201918466?s=20)

“Stop fidgeting. You are going to mess this up at the most crucial moment.” Two hands settled on his shoulders, their grip digging in as if to steady him against the so-called ‘fidgeting’.

“I didn’t move at all!” He protested with a hiss, grinding his heel on the floor beneath the chair was sitting in. He had been moving actually. His leg had been bouncing with nerves he was trying to contain, but the action obviously was unacceptable to Takamaki Ann who jabbed an eyeliner pen in his face like a knife. Her bright blue eyes narrowed on him like a spotlight.

“Don’t move a muscle, Ren, or you are going to look absolutely ridiculous.”

He swallowed back his complaints that he probably already looked absolutely ridiculous and sighed, submitting to her demands. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

She seemed to accept his apology and shook the pen in her hand hard. “Now, don’t move, don’t blink, don’t breathe. Look down.” She directed him sternly. Ren took a deep breath, cursing his luck for the umpteenth time, and steered his gaze downward. The cold pen tickled his eyelid again and he felt his eye watering from the sensation.

“Honestly, how are you supposed to be a cat without winged eyeliner?” She scoffed quietly as she worked. She turned back to the camera filming them. “We are almost done. I just have to smoke out his shadow after this and polish him off with a ruby red lip!” she explained to her would-be audience.

Almost instantly she was back to mercilessly tickling his eye with the tip of the liner. “There, see? It’s easy when you hold still.”

Ren didn’t dare answer her, lest he make her mess up and scold him again. He slowly exhaled and cursed himself again. He should know better than to make bets he didn’t know he could win for sure, and this was absolutely the last time he’d be making that mistake. He had been telling himself that for the last six years though, so he wondered if he would actually learn this time.

But, in his defense, Ren had been absolutely sure he would win. It was an eating contest, and he had passed the Big Bang Challenge so many times during high school he actually had his name written on a faded gold paper star in the Shibuya location that still hung there when he and Ann had decided to stop by for lunch the week previous.

She had been talking to him about how nice it had been to take a step back from modeling for a little bit to strengthen her internet presence. Doing video blogs had been a good way to expand her talents. As such, Ann requested that Ren help her make videos by being her go-along. He didn’t oppose at all. It was fun to spend time with her and appear on her social media channels.

Last week, while they were shopping for her planned lookbook, Big Bang Burger caught his attention, and his stomach’s eager crying was making his hunger known.

He made some offhanded remark about how he could smoke her in the Big Bang Burger challenge, which the chain still offered. He had been a pro in high school, after all, but his jeers seemed to have touched a nerve in Ann as she squinted at him and crossed her arms…

It had become normal for he and Ann to challenge each other on her channel, so when she put a bet on the outcome, he took it up with gusto. They squared off on who could finish the mountain of burger quicker, Ren fully believing she didn't stand a sliver of a chance. Honestly, he just wanted her to set him up with yet another one of her friends. But she had a more interesting idea… well…

More interesting to her anyway.

He lost the bet spectacularly. Even now, he didn’t understand how she managed such a feat. Ann practically inhaled the giant burger. Yet she sat across from him grinning and licking ketchup from her fingers with a smug gleam in her blue eyes.

And now the result her victory was hugging his body in an almost uncomfortable way. From the fishnets that squeezed his calves, to the sequined shorts that felt more like a second skin and showed far too much of his thigh and did well to flatten him down in the crotch, he honestly craved death.

There was a light layer of sweat already causing the pleather corset garter belt to stick around his waist where the structured sheer bodice cut off at his ribcage. It hardly covered anything, and the gapping where his obvious lack of breasts were made it very easy to look straight down the sorry excuse for a top. At least no one could see directly through the chest area.

Ann had moved on to his lips, which meant that it was almost over. He was ready to drink already. He had never, ever dressed like this before, but Ann was obviously amused by his loss of the bet he carelessly made. He should have known better than to underestimate her.

“You’re almost there, Ren…” she sang sweetly to him as she glossed on a bold red color. “I have to paint your little nose on too, then set your makeup.”

“And whiskers?” He asked sarcastically and watched her retract her brush.

“Hmm.. maybe. We will see. Let me line your lips, too,” she mused thoughtfully. He let out a heavy sigh. Joking was only going to make it worse by fueling her with ideas, it seemed. It was so cold in her apartment and this outfit left him almost shivering. He rubbed his bare arms, his painted fingertips dragging across his forearms to keep warm. He hadn’t even seen how he looked so far; he just knew he felt utterly ridiculous.

“Ah, done!” Ann announced and he blinked and looked up at her.

“Really?” He was far too excited to stand up and stretch. He felt like he had been sitting in that chair for hours.

“Yup!” She quickly sprayed him down and fanned him off. “Let’s get you in the rest of your costume,” she announced and Ren’s shoulders slumped tiredly.

“I don’t even want to go out anymore.” He muttered but followed her to her modest and tidy living room where the rest of the outfit was laid out.

“Too bad, you lost, mister.” She reminded him brightly, shooting him a grin. “It’s just one night. Now! Cat ears and tail and the collar. I’ll get your jacket and gloves ready. Then you can see it.” She giggled and slapped him on the shoulder before leaving him alone in his misery. He begrudgingly snapped the collar on his neck, dismayed that the giant bell actually jingled. He supposed it was worth it to hang out with Ann all day.

He had been back in Tokyo for three years, helping out at Leblanc since the cafe expanded to a full-scale restaurant. Sojiro had been happy to let him live in the attic again, since he would have a manager on site to help open and close most days. In the years following, Ren had updated the space, making it livable and comfortable with his own style. Morgana had certainly appreciated being around everyone again too, which made Ren feel especially sentimental. Shibuya had been his home, after all. It’s where he felt most comfortable and secure.

“Ready?” The camera was pushed towards him and he could see Ann’s grin from under the lens. He adjusted the headband to sit more comfortably and shifted the fuzzy jacket.

“I… guess.” He hardly sounded convinced. He was dreading this. But he felt Ann’s hand on his back and walked where she steered him. She reached around to open the door to her bathroom and he finally got a glimpse of himself as his friend declared a vibrant “Taadaaaa~”

Oh. Okay.

He swallowed hard.

He actually didn’t look too terrible. Not at all, really. He was expecting a lot more skin to be showing, but he was modestly covered by the jacket and the garter belt that sat right at his waist and squeaked every time he moved. The red of his lips made the gray of his eyes seem more subdued, but it wasn’t a bad look in the least. The eyeliner and smoked look brought focus to his face under his sweep of curly black bangs. He nervously chewed on the stud at the center of his tongue and turned to look at the outfit from the side. This was easily the sluttiest thing he had ever worn, without a doubt.

“Ann, you really wore this?” he asked and faced her. She was still filming him but gave him a nod.

“Yup! Last Halloween to a club in Shinjuku. Whatcha think?”

He returned to the mirror and grinned. “I think I’m coming for your job.”

She laughed at him. “Oh, I’m scared now.” He watched her from the mirror’s reflection and hadn’t seen her smile that widely since she told him the news that she and Makoto were finally getting married. She was far too excited about this. “You like it, though, right?”

“Actually… yes.” He flushed ever so slightly but ran his fingers through his hair. “Not too bad.” He smiled in spite of himself. He genuinely looked good.

“I know you wanted a date tonight but,” Ann started, moving closer to him and setting the camera down on the edge of the bathtub. “I think this will be pretty eye-catching. Any guy would want to at least come and talk to you, if not more.” She straightened up his jacket and offered him a very soft smile as she patted his shoulders.

Ren blinked in confusion. “What do you mean?”

She tilted her head at him. “Well, I know how nervous you get talking to people, so this costume can definitely be a conversation piece. An icebreaker, as they say,” she said carefully in English and smiled brightly. “Not saying this is going to solve your problems, but it may help a bit.”

His gaze softened on her. She knew he had been going through a hard time recently; not that he ever wanted to really discuss it… but she knew. His last relationship had fallen apart, just like pretty much every other relationship had. He just wanted to fix everything all the time, and it never seemed to settle well with his boyfriends. He was too intrusive, too nosy and far too… well.

He didn’t know why he did this, really. He tried too hard to make sure things were okay. A bit smothering, he supposed. He was far too invested in them when they were not equally invested in him. It stung each and every time things didn’t work out too… and made him want to give up finding a relationship altogether. Nothing was ever going to fill that burning hole in his chest that smoldered for the past six years. As much as he tried to deny it...he still thought of him—often. Too often. He wondered sometimes if that's why he chose men he had no chance with, because he didn't deserve a satisfying relationship. After all, he failed the first person to ever capture his heart. And maybe he set himself up for these new failures because he knew he didn’t deserve to find anyone else.

Sometimes he thought about his happiness actually sinking with that damn ship. He wouldn't be surprised if it had. Since then, as hard as it was to get over all the guys who came and went from his life, to find they were cheating or dumping him just as he was getting emotionally invested...it would never be as difficult to get over as that one. It was impossible not to notice that some of his issues in finding a partner stemmed from his inability to let go of someone who was long since dead. So impossible, in fact, it wasn't uncommon for him to look for traits that reminded him of Akechi in his boyfriends. He knew it was stupid, he knew it was just making things worse for him, but—

He just wanted to help someone he cared about in a way he failed to before.

He had mentioned it to Ann while they were drinking one night after he found out his boyfriend had been messing around with yet another woman. It had been her who had suggested trying to go for something more casual. She had been pestering him to go clubbing with her in an attempt to help him loosen up and maybe even find someone who would just want to have some sort of fling. And maybe with someone who wasn't such an asshole to him.

But now that she was talking about this outfit and how excited she was for tonight…he wondered if she had been extra determined to win that damn challenge just to make him up like this and help him accomplish exactly that? Rather than hook him up with another person she knew from her network, she wanted to help him play the field a bit? He didn’t think it was possible, but his friends had always tried to help in surprising ways.

“You didn’t do this just so I could get laid tonight, did you?” He asked her bluntly, and Ann jumped slightly at the question.

“Uhh, no? I don’t want to think about that Ren!” She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. She sighed, however and after a moment gave a very simple shrug. “Okay, maybe. Make sure to return that to me completely washed though. I just want you to cut loose and have fun.”

He chuckled. “Sorry, sorry.” He really did make her worry about him. He felt a bit guilty that he fought this so hard and that he had been so obvious in his moping recently. He would have to fix that. After all, being dumped was never as hard to get over as…well, other things. Or other people who had disappeared from his life. Even after six years, he still felt like he was trying to plug up a hole that had manifested in his heart.

And that resulted in quiet forms of rebellion where he could seek them. He became eager to take control of himself and also venture into ways to reclaim the thrill he experienced as a Phantom Thief. Even now, so many years later, he longed for the sensation of danger or, at least, adventure.

Sometimes he would take the train with no destination in mind, just ride it until the last stop listening to music when he couldn’t sleep. Often times, when he was particularly anxious, he would just ride through the entire night, coming back to Leblanc at dawn smelling of booze and staggering upstairs to his room to sleep for a few hours until the bathhouse opened up.

On one of these nights, the urge to have his tongue pierced struck him after a particularly rough encounter with Takemi when he was feeling under the weather and went to seek her medical advice. His body had frozen up when she pulled out the shot and he was…tired of it. He was so tired of not being in control and letting fear from the past paralyze him. Everyone else had gone and moved on with their lives, but he was still stuck in his own fear of things that happened before…

As if the thoughts of Akechi plaguing his mind hadn’t been enough already.

So he went back to the cafe and pierced his own ear in the bathroom of Leblanc the very same day, holding back tears and forcing his hand to be steady while doing it but ultimately overcoming his dread. And that led to him going out one night and coming back with his tongue pierced as well. He was conquering his past any way he could…anything to make up for the noticeable void in his life he could never fill.

This was coping, however he could, even if it felt ridiculous to be going out and purposefully trying to take control of his fears, a piercing, a tattoo, a lover at a time.

He was coping to the best of his abilities, which caught the attention of his friends. He assumed Morgana tattled on him for going out almost constantly and for postulating the idea of taking up bouldering and buying a motorcycle after a particularly nasty breakup. He reassured them that he was fine, and appreciated the worry. November was always a hard month on him, too, and he just had a lot to think about. 

Them sitting down and talking to him had lead to bridging some of the gaps that spawned between him and his friends. Ryuji requested Ren join his gym, so he began to see him more frequently. Ann had asked him to help her start vlogging and go on food adventures with her and Makoto. It wasn’t the same as what he was seeking out, but the healthier outlets for his complacency seemed to make them all stop worrying about him so much. Which was good; he never wanted them to worry about him in the first place. He was okay. He was managing. 

Either way, he was happy that his friends had come back together to be more involved in his life. He appreciated it, even if they met up sparingly. So, yes, even though he was geared up in an unconventional, slutty black cat costume and making his best friend worry about him, he was still happy to be in her presence.

He waited for Ann to finish getting ready and snuck a few selfies in. He was really feeling himself in this outfit.

He was definitely going to “cut loose and have fun tonight”, as Ann requested.

Another half an hour passed and Ann presented herself in front of him once again, decked out in an outfit incredibly reminiscence of her outfit from their days as Phantom Thieves, only in solid white.

“We match! You’re a black cat and I’m a white one!” She smiled at him and swung her tail around for emphasis.

He clapped and nodded in approval. She looked great and incredibly comfortable in such an outfit. It was truly monumental to him to see her show such confidence. In high school, he knew she hated the tight red suit she wore while in the Metaverse. The white one she wore now was more modest for sure, but it was still nice to see her enjoying herself in something like this…even if it was just a Halloween costume.

“Thanks for coming to this with me,” she said happily as she strapped her heels on. “I wish Makoto was free to join us, but you know how crazy her schedule is.”

Ren nodded in understanding. “Yeah, just gotta make sure to take some pics to send her to make her miss you more.”

She paused and grinned at him. “I knew I liked the way you think, Amamiya Ren.” She took him by the arm and punched the air. “To Shinjuku! Let’s go!”

He returned her enthusiasm, absolutely ready to get completely smashed and quite possibly, lucky.

It was a quick train ride to Ann’s favorite and most frequented club, which Ren was grateful for. As comfortable as this actually was, besides the shoes, he was anxious to actually arrive somewhere other people were dressed up as absurdly as he was. It wasn’t long until the neon sign of CHERRY SHAKE greeted them, and they paid their cover to go in. Ren had never actually been here before; however, he had seen it on his way to Crossroads back in high school and never paid much mind to it. However, it ended up being one of the more prominent gay clubs in Shinjuku, which Ann established a connection with when she helped host events with her company. As such, she needed to show up whenever she could. When they entered, strobing lights swung around the entire dance floor and tables were scattered along the sides of the club. Ann, however, made a beeline right for the bar and Ren followed her, careful not to lose her in the flashing lights.

There didn’t seem to be too many people there so far, and he was grateful for that. He wanted to get a least a few drinks in before trying to see if anyone would be willing to dance with him. Hopefully, they’d have at least a few drinks in them too so they couldn’t see how awful he was at it.

But that wasn’t the point; the point was to have fun and Ann patted the seat next to her at the illuminated bar top.

“I’ll have my usual and one for him as well!” she declared loudly over the music. Ren sat down beside her, quietly thanking the bar stool for saving him from the heels Ann made him wear. 

He was very fortunate, or rather unfortunate, that they wore very similar sizes in clothing because this night could have already been far worse than it had been. However, he hadn't worn heels this high since he was traversing Palaces and stealing the hearts of criminals. As the mystery drink was set in front of him, which he would assume was something of a signature of club's due to the speared cherries decorating the pink liquid in his cup, Ann leaned in close to him.

"Let's dance after this drink, okay?" she asked eagerly. It made him smile as he sipped on the sweet drink and nodded. He watched as she got out her phone and positioned herself with him to take a few pictures with their novelty drinks. She giggled, but he couldn't hear her over the music. He did, however, see her open up a group message with the rest of his closest friends and send the picture they had just snapped.

He groaned, his shoulders slumping forward. Great; he was never going to hear the end of it. Futaba was going to have a field day. He actually managed to hear Ann's deep laughter at her message and she grinned widely at him.

"Are you done now?" He asked her and she nodded triumphantly.

"I think it's just begun, but yes! My bet has been fulfilled!" She clanked her glass with his and took a generous amount in a few gulps. He knew better now; he knew he could never underestimate her ever again.

After that drink, Ren was already beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol when they stood to go dance for a bit with the crowd. She laughed at him while they moved to the bass pounding through the entire club, and he couldn't help but laugh at her for her stiff and awkward movements. Neither of them was very good at dancing. So, his solution was to keep drinking until they could fool themselves that they were.

They reclaimed their seats at the bar. The bartender, that Ren only just now realized was dressed up as a zombie maid, placed drinks in front of them as he and Ann just kept giggling about their embarrassing moves.

The sudden drinks that appeared made Ann cock her eyebrow. She looked at the other woman in confusion. "I didn't order these," she explained. The bartender motioned towards a group of girls sitting at a table accompanying a few men who looked like exactly what Ren was imagining when he wanted to hook up with someone. All of them, really. They were probably hosts by the look of them, their hair so impeccably styled hair and their flashy way of dressing. Overwhelmingly charismatic just from a mere glance. Ann frowned and sighed.

"This is why I wanted you to come with me. Whenever I come here without Makoto, people want to make their move." She turned towards the table to point to her wedding ring finger for the group of girls who sent over the drink. He felt bad for her: Ann always had to attend events like this because of her position as a model and now vlogger. There were a lot of elbows to rub and appearances to keep up. She was a beautiful woman, so her presence was always zeroed in on whenever she went. It must be exhausting. 

He wondered how Akechi dealt with the pressure too when he was in the public spotlight. Ren didn't get a chance to accept his own drink that seemed to have been sent over by the same group, as Ann begrudgingly turned the drinks away.

"Hey, I would have taken them." He pouted a bit and leaned on the bar counter.

"Nope. You aren't hooking up with yet another host, Ren," she scolded lightly, ordering them both another round of drinks and checking her phone for any messages.

"It wasn't going to be anything serious remember? So what does it matter?" he asked.

"Because it's you. You always get emotionally attached."

Ouch. She had a point though. Even if the point was to flirt and mess around with someone without it being serious...it wasn't something he was accustomed to doing.

"I can see your brain trying to make some argument," she nagged. "No."

He sipped his drink, his eyes lingering on the group of guys again, and sighed. Maybe she was right; he needed to try something different if he wanted different results. He scanned the club for the second time and found himself smiling at all the costumes that people were wearing and dancing in; however, no one was catching his attention in the least. So he quickly abandoned that idea.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he announced, getting up and grabbing his drink from the bar.

“Don’t you dare—” Ann hissed loudly, calling his bluff. “Amamiya Ren, I swear to God.” He waved off her concerns.

“I’ll be fine. What are you, my mother?” She let out an audible groan but he didn’t wait to hear the rest of her objections, making his way over to the table. There was no one else interesting here anyway; besides, it was just some meaningless encounter, so what did it really matter in the long run if any of the three men sitting there were nice or not? That wasn’t the point. He could feel Ann’s eyes staring him down as he got closer. The three chatting at the table didn’t seem to notice his approach, and he took the opportunity to down a few swigs of his drink quickly to buck up some courage.

But while he did, something…or rather someone, out of the corner of his eye steered his attention. A few tables away he saw a man sitting by himself…seemingly just watching people on the dance floor having a good time. He didn’t know why someone so ordinary caught his interest. The lights around the club flashed so quickly, it helped illuminate his face, and Ren felt himself suck in a breath. The guy was by no means a host or anything of the sort, not like his last boyfriend but...there was something about him that made his eyes linger longer than he wanted. Ren noted the way he leaned forward on the table, staring intently at the party around him, all the while looking utterly bored.. Well that was enough to pique his interest. He wanted to go talk to him. But he couldn’t understand why exactly it was.

He almost looked familiar, and eerily so. Almost like he had seen him in passing somewhere before. Ren thought for a good few moments as he studied the stranger’s body language and mannerisms, which exuded complete boredom but diligence. He was sitting rigid, straight up in his seat, but the line of his shoulder slouched against the booth. Even in the dull light, Ren could see him scanning the bar area, sipping his drink far too slowly for someone there to have a great time. 

Before Ren even realized it, he had abandoned his path towards his original targeted hook up and moved towards the other man instead, surrendering to his innate curiosity. Upon closer inspection, a nostalgic feeling swept over him, his legs freezing and his glass almost dropping from his hand. 

The man had sharp features, his focused expression painted on his handsome face. The way his hand was tucked under his chin and resting on the table, tuning out the world around him like he was playing chess rather than sitting in a loud nightclub filled with patrons in costumes celebrating Halloween was enticing. Almost like he was dissecting the scene and watching the movements of those around him with hawklike keenness.Yet there was an intensity that threatened to draw Ren in like a moth to a flame, and he suddenly didn’t care if he burned again. The likeness of this man to Akechi was so jarring at that moment in time that Ren felt nauseous as he stood there, legs no doubt trembling. 

No, that was stupid. It was such a stupid thought that struck him. He shook his head slightly, trying to rid himself of the intrusive conclusion that was spurred on by nothing more than his own desires and the alcohol. And yet, he still wanted to go over and talk to the man he had been gawking at for probably several seconds now.

If nothing else, if he played his cards right, he would be able to indulge in his imagination a little bit. This was going to be nothing serious, after all. At least that what he told himself as he steeled his nerves.

He took a deep breath, hoping that the man hadn’t noticed him staring awkwardly at him, and finally got enough courage with the aid of his drink to approach him.

“Excuse me,” he said loudly, probably a bit too loudly despite the music. “Can I sit here, or are you saving this seat for someone?”

The man finally turned his head to him. Oh, he was incredibly attractive. He was sure it was the alcohol in his system, but he felt a flush rise to his face.

“Go ahead,” he answered before turning his head back towards the dance floor. Then his attention shot directly back to Ren in almost an instant. He decided he absolutely owed Ann a big thank you for this outfit. This guy had abandoned all focus he had possessed before and was just staring at Ren in alarm.

He felt absolutely flattered by such a reaction and slid next to him. “You look like you just saw a ghost, but I’m obviously a cat, nyah~,” Ren said to him flatly as he flicked the bell on his collar and took another sip of the drink in his hand.

The man laughed sheepishly, rubbing his arm and nodding. “I see that,” he almost stuttered out, like he was having problems finding the words. Oh, attractive and cute. A dangerous combination.

“And what about you?” he asked. The booze and nerves jumbled around in his stomach, but he supposed it was a good sign that the man hadn’t just gotten up and left. He pointed to the strange hat on the man’s head and snickered. It didn’t look like much a costume, a simple yet fashionable trench coat that matched the hat. He did notice the leather gloves on the stranger’s hand and cocked an eyebrow. “No, wait, don’t tell me. Are you a detective or something?” He grinned shamelessly, though the suggestion made his heart hammer roughly against his ribcage.

“I suppose you caught me red-handed,” the man mused, leaning back and turning his body to give his undivided attention to Ren. The hammering in his chest turned into a dull ache, and he felt his smile falter. Maybe that’s why he was so drawn to him. He really did look like him.

The man seemed to notice the change in Ren’s attitude because he tilted his head. “I don’t think a cat has anything to worry about from a detective though; unless you are a cat burglar.”

And here Ren was worried about his lame jokes. But it made him laugh all the same and helped relieve some of the tension that was building up inside of him. “Oh no, I’m retired. Sorry about that.” He stole a bit of his drink and found his grounding once again to smile at the man.

“I’m Amamiya Ren,” he said. The man returned his smile with difficulty and it made Ren think maybe he was intruding on something. He looked around the club for a moment. “You weren’t waiting for your boyfriend or anything, were you?” He hoped not.

“Oh, no nothing like that, I assure you.” The stranger cleared his throat. “Yamamoto Jiro.”

Ren couldn’t help the twinge of disappointment that knotted in his stomach. “Well, it’s nice to meet you.” He recovered quickly. “Mind keeping me company?”

Whatever confliction was in the man's expression vanished from his face as soon as Ren asked. Maybe this guy was just as nervous and awkward as he was. Definitely a step in the opposite direction than he was used to.

“That’d be alright with me,”

Ren grinned at him. “Great, what are you drinking? Shots? You look like a shots kinda guy.”

Even in the flashing lights of the club he could see his new acquaintance’s cheeks flush a pleasant shade of pink. Damn, he was really cute.

“I’m actually just drinking water, but I could be tempted by a shot or two.” 

A smile curled on Ren’s ruby lips. “Oh, I think I have a purrrfect recommendation. Stay here for me?” He asked with a wink.

The other man nodded numbly, and Ren whisked his way back to the bar to talk to Ann and get a few drinks.

“Wow. I’m surprised you didn’t go for the whole pack of wolves over there, Ren,” she remarked as she looked back at the man— Jiro. 

He gave a loose shrug, not wanting to indulge any further as to why he seemed so drawn to the man in question. It would probably alarm her more.

“What can I say? Maybe I’m actually learning to listen to you.” 

She smiled and hummed into her drink. “Well you’re off the hook. Makoto actually got out early tonight. She’s coming to get me.” 

“Oh? Did your picture work?” he asked, grabbing both of the speciality drinks from the bartender.

“I’ll never tell.” But the wink told him that his little idea worked. This night was going well.

“Sorry we didn’t dance more.” 

“Oh no, don’t. Just dance with him instead! It’s fine.”

“Okay…I’ll be sure to—“

“Keep the costume, Ren. I don’t want it.” She held her hand up to his face. “And don’t tell me about it. Just have fun.”

He didn’t know what he did to deserve a friend like her.

But soon he was back by Jiro, their drinks In tow. “You’re still here.” He sat back down, their thighs touching as he moved in closer.

“Why would I leave?” 

Ren felt his face flush, and he began nursing his drink quickly to calm himself down. Another few glasses emptied and now he was feeling confident that Jiro wouldn’t just up and vanish when he saw how horribly Ren danced. He was antsy to dance.

“Come on,” he finally said. 

“Pardon?”

Damn, why was this guy so enticing with just a simple word? 

Ren grabbed Jiro’s wrist and ushered him out to the dance floor. 

He didn’t know if it was the alcohol that flooded his veins or the beat of the thunderous bass that chased away every insecurity in his brain, but it was infectious being this close to someone like this. The only thing consuming his mind was the music, the bubbling feeling of liquor and the heat from this man being so, so close to him as they swayed to the rhythm.

Ren hadn’t realized just how crowded the club had gotten in their conversation and drinking together until he felt someone brushing up against his back while he danced. However, he didn’t pay it much mind, more interested in the contact between him and Jiro. He saw the other man open his mouth as Ren got closer, dragging his fingers down his jacket as the beat escalated, but he couldn’t hear him. 

They were practically mashed together, Ren in his embrace as gloved hands settled on his waist. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he couldn’t help letting out a laugh that was drowned in the air. Their eyes met when Ren’s fingers began to unbutton the other’s jacket. Nerves that had been numbed by the multiple drinks he had consumed returned for only a moment…but Jiro didn’t stop him. Not in the least. In fact, he looked pretty amused, his eyebrow raising. However, Ren felt his hands drop to his hips with a squeeze, and he took that as a sign of approval as he fought the overcoat with difficulty.

He accomplished his goal after a few painstaking moments and fished his fingers inside the jacket to touch more of Jiro. Lazily, he ran his fingers down over the nice button up shirt underneath and bit his lip. Oh, he was firmer than he imagined. He was obviously fit under that damned shirt, and Ren wanted nothing more than to rip it off to see if his assumptions were true. He was stopped, though, when his hips were pulled even closer to the other man until they were only separated by their thin layers of clothing. The sensation stirred a heated flicker in Ren’s stomach, and he let out a moan and closed his eyes. Everything was so hazy, but he lost himself to the atmosphere, arms snaking up around Jiro's neck as they moved together, grinding in the middle of a crowd. He shuddered and leaned forward to nestle his head in the crook of the other’s neck as he bumped and rubbed against the other man, want curdling his stomach now.

He let out a staggered gasp of air as he felt himself becoming aroused by the pressure mounting between his legs. It seemed he wasn’t alone, as he felt the other’s cock rubbing against his own. Damn these clothes. He suddenly hated them. Ren pulled away to look at the other man, who looked rather flustered at their actions, though that didn’t seem to be stopping him. They were the same, lost to the beat of the music reverberating through the air. He tucked his fingers under Jiro’s chin and brought his head back so he was staring into those warm eyes and pulled him closer to kiss him.

The blood in his body was replaced with fire, the alcohol fanning his want until he, himself, was consumed by the heat. His heart was louder than the bass of the club, and Jiro’s lips made him want to melt away. They had stopped moving, their tongues taking up the dancing for them. Ren couldn’t help the soft moan yet again; however, he felt the vibrations of his partner echo back into his mouth, and the sound trickled straight down to his already budding arousal. He lapped at Jiro’s tongue, exploring his mouth in a frenzy, biting and nipping at his lips until the other man pulled back for air. Ren’s eyes slid open again, and he knew right then and there, he was done for.

His red lipstick was smudged on very swollen, parted lips.

It didn’t take them long to get out of the crowd to an empty bathroom stall where Ren gladly let Jiro pin him to the stall door and kiss him again. Ren laughed into the fierce kiss before pawing the man through his pants. He wanted him so badly it was almost maddening. In this light, he was even more handsome than he first assumed. His dark brown hair hugged the nape of his neck and his eyes were a warm brown color that cut straight through him when their eyes met. It was almost an uncanny resemblance.

Ren opened his mouth to speak, but he stuttered out a moan instead as his neck was assaulted by pressed, heated kisses. 

“Oh?” The other man whispered against his neck and he felt a tremor of pleasure wash over him. His voice was sultry now, taking on a husky quality that he hadn’t noticed while they were talking earlier. Fuck, this guy was his type to a fault. Something about him was mysterious, yet inviting, and the way he was touching Ren’s chest and pinching his nipples through the flimsy fabric of the corset shirt made his back arch.

“I can help you with that, if you ask for it.”

“I—” He started when he felt teeth sink over the collar he was wearing. “I—” The fur jacket slid down his shoulders and dropped to the ground. He shuddered as the cold air prinkled against his bare skin. Their eyes met again and Ren’s heart skipped a few beats. 

“You?”

“I want to blow you.” He licked his lips eagerly. “Is that okay?”

He heard Jiro suck in a deep breath and nod. “Yeah, that’s… that’s fine, Ren.” 

The sound of his name spoken that way made him twinge with pride, and he pushed the other against the adjoining wall before unfastening Akechi's—Jiro's fly and venturing his fingers around the other’s boxers, stroking the other’s cock through the fabric. The other man’s own fingers curled around Ren’s shoulders as he touched him.

It didn’t take much more time for Ren to drop down to his knees before his partner after freeing his firm dick from his underwear and taking him into his mouth without another word. He swiped his tongue over the dripping head that was settled inside his mouth and moaned at the hot salty taste of his precum. He heard the man groan loudly at the sensation. He took that moment to run the stud in the center of his tongue against the underside of that firm cock and felt a fist clench in his hair. The belt around his neck jingled with every move, every thrust made.

“R-Ren—” He felt the tip of his dick twitch in his mouth and opened up wider to try to swallow him whole.

He let go with a soft pop and dove right back in, bobbing his head up and down as far as he could. Ren’s long fingers gripped the base of the stiff erection in his mouth until Jiro could no longer hold himself back and began to move in motion with Ren’s own rhythm.

The alcohol in his system had all but faded , and all he could think about was the labored breath of the handsome stranger grunting and moaning with unbridled want. This made him feel desirable. He wondered if he should just do this from now on, this casual run-in with whoever caught his eye. It helped swell him with pride that he could reduce someone to a fit of moans and breathless pants of his own name like a prayer. It was easier this way to pretend. It was too easy to pretend. He wondered if Akechi would have moaned his name this sweetly even now. If he would have gripped his hair this hard and wanted him this much. It was driving him wild, his imagination taking flight as his own hand snaked down, touching himself through the sequined shorts.

“Ren, Ren stop,” he heard that possessive growl call out. He didn’t want to stop. No, he wanted to keep going. He was being loved, he was being admired by someone so dear to him. He wanted to see this through to completion when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Ren.” He took the moment to look up into the face of the other, who had a light layer of sweat and need stitched into his face.

“There’s a hotel nearby,” The other offered, though the way he said it made Ren immediately back off, letting go of the man with disappointment. “Let’s continue there? We could get arrested if we continue here.”

Ever the voice of reason, he thought bitterly. That was exactly what Akechi would do, and he knew it. At least this guy was making it so easy to imagine and he quite...liked pretending. He avoided looking into the face of the man whose name he couldn't remember, desperate not to break the illusion he fooled himself into believing. He focused instead on neatening himself up. His want was still blazing through his body when they left the club and, sure enough, just next door was the hotel his partner was talking about.

The prolonged anticipation of getting back to his desires was driving Ren mad. He hadn't had enough of this yet, especially coming so close to getting off; it just heightened the want riddling through his body.

They barely made it to the bed, and Ren went back to indulging in hypotheticals. Closing his eyes, he stretched out under the other man— under Akechi, rather. He lost himself again in his own fabricated reality. Akechi would be impatient with him, and firm in how he asserted himself, maybe grabbing his wrists up and pinning them above his head, just as this man was doing now. He would kiss him just as passionately as this, whispering things against his lips that he couldn't comprehend except his own name being desperately mumbled when Ren arched his back, pressing their bodies together in need. Ren’s shorts were finally discarded, and air finally hit his throbbing erection. He hissed softly and inhaled, closing his eyes once more before his lips were claimed greedily.

His hands were released and he felt cold, bare fingers trailing up the shirt to touch him, only to trail back down his ribs and, god, Akechi was such a fucking tease.

Ren growled in frustration as his thighs were touched ever so lightly before the heat from Akechi's hands left him to, from what Ren could hear, grab something from the nightstand. A few agonizing moments edged on, and he was tempted to open his eyes and break the illusion to find out what was taking so long when his impatience was rewarded.

He moaned loudly, covering his mouth as his cock was finally touched with meticulously slippery fingers. Ren heard him chuckle and goosebumps trickled up his arms. He could practically see the bastard grinning but didn’t dare confirm it. 

“Relax and spread your legs wider,” that smug voice requested gently. Ren tried to calm down and obeyed. He flinched when a thin, long finger pushed inside of him. A second finger soon followed, and Ren bit his smudged lips to keep from crying out from the sensation of being touched so intimately.

He could hardly forget his face or the lies his smile hid. In the darkness of his eyelids, he could see him, that insufferable smirk as he toyed with Ren. In the darkness of his eyelids, he found his own comforting lies. That smirk he wanted desperately to wipe from Akechi’s face. The one he wanted to replace with some sort of sincerity but never had the chance to. He couldn’t forget the ache in his chest as the person he felt closest to, most intrigued by, most connected to, ripped his heart apart as their wishes melted together. Much like now, when slicked fingers began to nestle their way inside of him at long last. Now that he could see a bit better, he wondered if Akechi would have ended up looking like this man a bit now. When their gazes met, heat shot straight from his chest to his stomach. They were close, he thought. A deep brown color with almost a honey tone to them under darker brown bangs. He was clean shaven, and his lips were stained with the lipstick Ren had happily supplied to him, but he noticed now what looked like a burn mark on his face, stretching across his cheek and disappearing into his hair.

It made him wonder what happened, but only for a split moment until the fingers inside of him stretched him further and curled. His mind blanked out as pleasure washed over him. He covered his mouth as Akechi’s fingers rubbed that spot inside him again.

"Don't hold your voice back," Akechi told him darkly, which made Ren shudder. It had been so long since he heard that voice resonating in his head. The deliberate strokes to his erection timed with the buck of his own hips were canceling out every rational thought he had left along with the pressure building from inside of him.

“You are so tight, Ren,” he whispered in his ear.

“Just fuck me already.” He panted, his own fingers digging into the pillow beneath his head to honor Akechi’s request. He was tired of all this; he had worked hard enough for it and it was time he was given what he wanted.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Akechi cooed in amusement but withdrew his fingers all the same, only to replace them at long last. Ren’s words evaporated into a labored gasp as he was filled completely, his muscles struggling to relax around the slicked cock that entered him finally.

And when he moved, he could barely process a single thought. It was nothing like alcohol; no, this was exhilarating. He was normally on the quiet side, both in his day-to -day life and in more intimate moments, but the thought of Akechi on top of him, inside of him, made his voice crack as he moaned. He pulled the other down close to him, burying his fingers in his hair, and he panted with every thrust. This was what he needed, this was what he wanted. He could hardly hold back as Akechi moved inside him, connecting them once again by something more tangible than a wish, but desire and flesh.

He was so close already, so very close already.

“Be loud,” Ren heard him demand. “You’re loving this, you are loving this, Ren. Have you missed me that much?”

The question broke his heart, but he found himself nodding as he clawed at Akechi’s back.

“I missed you,” he called out softly, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m cumming, Goro— I’m cumming.”

Akechi picked up speed as Ren called his name, over and over before all the pressure built up inside him finally climaxed and he came with Goro’s name fresh on his tongue.

In the throes of his orgasm, he felt Goro tense and breathe out Ren’s name with such desperate want. 

Their breaths faded into calm, and Ren’s eyelids began to stitch together in exhaustion, but a smile hung on his lips as he fell asleep, the lie he convinced himself of still fresh in his head as he dozed.

He didn’t hear the deep sigh of the man he just slept with, nor felt the caress of Jiro’s hand through his hair. He didn’t see the softened honey gaze that looked on in concern and nostalgia.

“I don’t know how, after all these years, you still manage to see right through me. So insufferable…”

It was difficult for Goro not to run away the second Amamiya Ren approached him. Ridiculous outfit or not. He knew the second he locked eyes with him who he was, and it took every ounce of strength in his body not to leave CHERRY SHAKE the instant he realized who was trying to pick him up. He just had to be on an undercover job in Shinjuku looking into some drug dealers when Ren showed up, didn’t he? It had been so many years, and yet still sentiment gripped him by the neck and choked out his logic.

It would have been the smart thing to leave immediately. It would have been the right thing to deny Ren, to tell him he wasn’t interested. But he wasn’t very good at lying to himself— not anymore.

It would have been a wise thing not to spur on Ren’s advances, but it happened so fast and…

Well, there was no point in dwelling on what could have been. 

Still, fate was a persistently fickle bitch at times. Of all the people to see, of all the places to see him, Ren just happened to waltz back into his life and he found himself unable to escape him. He didn’t much believe in signs but…even he couldn’t deny this possibility felt contrived by some god who was no doubt laughing at him after years of attempting to move on.

Maybe that god was laughing at both of them: they both were hung up on the past. And now that past they should have been trying to move away from caught up to the both of them 

That past rested here next to him peacefully…warmly. 

There was still time to leave, to run away from all of this. But sentiment smothered his logic. 

Longing suffocated his apprehension.

Ren calling out his name kept him there, gripping his hand…a hand he never expected to hold again, and he drifted to sleep—not caring about what the morning held for them both and indulging in the moment for as long as he could. They could talk in the morning.

He watched Ren’s sleeping face smudged with makeup in the dim light of the hotel, wondering just what he would say when he woke the next morning. But he didn’t regret his decision as he gently stroked Ren’s cheek, swallowing the harsh reality of what just happened and the uncertainty of it all.

The only thing he knew as he settled down next to Ren, trying to decide once and for all if he was the unluckiest person on earth or if he had been favored by some trick of fate, was that his stomach turned with the excitement of possibility. He knew then that he didn’t regret indulging in the other’s presence—in unlikely intimacy of someone he had missed so much.

So he’d indulge a bit more… 

In the morning.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> my twitter is @chromiekins


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